Paris is Burning

[Fratzog]

Any discussion of ideas is fraught with the possibility of member offence particularly when strongly held views on politics, faith and other beliefs are discussed. We learned about this danger in an "Interaction Management" course for front line supervisors they gave us at work years ago. We were advised to follow 3 key principles.
1. Maintain and enhance self esteem.
2 Listen and respond with empathy.
3. Ask for help in solving the problem.
Adhering to those principles when discussing contentious issues ensures mutual respect is maintained and personal attacks don't become a problem. We may try to follow those principles but it isn't always easy when emotions run high since we are only human. I'm as guilty as the next person of "stepping over the line."

However the answer is not censorship. It's been suggested that this is an old car forum so we should stick to those car related things. I couldn't disagree more. If there was a prohibition of off topic discussions on this board I'd quickly be following Stan out of here. The benefits of rational and civil debate on all topics far outweigh occasional hurt feelings from ill advised comments.

I hope Stan takes the 20000 foot view and comes to the realization that he has left behind far more friends here than the few individuals that have pissed him off.

 

[LocuMob]

there's your freedom of speech which, as of late, seems a bit degrading, insulting, biased and discriminating.

Couldn't have summed it up better! That's what I thought at first but hung in there and realized he isn't that bad a guy. He's from the northeast, those people have opinions and don't hold back on saying them. He'd help anybody that needs it if given the chance. In just laugh when I read his posts that might touch a nerve with others.

 

[LocuMob]

When I joined this forum, Stan pissed me off with his attitude. Being a good Midwestern boy, I forgot about the upper east coast way of taking. I hung around to see what crap came out of his mouth, I got it after a bit and learned to appreciate his no holds barred way of posting. Sometimes it rubs people the wrong way, but if you give him a chance he's a good guy.
So, I gu as I've "stalked" people here, but I was able to find things through their profile that they posted earlier and I couldn't find going through the old threads. I'm surprised anyone ever looks at my profile, so I don't get upset. Tinkering and Yatzee, you guys are totally welcome here, just take things a little lighter. You'll find it to be a fun place with lots of loyal, dedicated C body diehards.

 

[tbm3fan]

Couldn't have summed it up better! That's what I thought at first but hung in there and realized he isn't that bad a guy. He's from the northeast, those people have opinions and don't hold back on saying them. He'd help anybody that needs it if given the chance. In just laugh when I read his posts that might touch a nerve with others.

Very true about the northeast since I am from there being born in the Bronx.

Here is a comparison using a lunch counter.

California:
You've finished your lunch and you are kicking back some. Owner comes by and asks how was lunch? You say great and he walks off.

New York City:
Same thing you have finished your lunch and you are kicking back some. You do this because you are not from New York. The owner comes by and asks if you are finished and when you say yes he says loudly "get outta here you're taking up my counter!" Perfectly normal to me.

 

[tbm3fan]

Well I for one always enjoyed his posts and personality. Before I ever posted I simply read the forum. I usually do this to get a feel for things and to see who exactly stands out one way or the other. I did this on my Optometric forum for a year and it only took a few days to spot who that was. Only difference is he and Stan are very different. I recognized Stan's personality as being from the northeast. The other fellow was from Texas and extremely conservative. Stan is too but not near this other person.

The biggest problem is that the other person was dealing with very educated professional colleagues who you run into at professional meetings. He had no problem insulting you if he disagreed with you. Stupid, idiot and moron were not uncommon ways he addressed others. Main reason I didn't post for a year and just lurked. Been three years till I took him on three months ago with a withering attack after insulting a Vietnam veteran, who I know, on his service. Hasn't been heard from in over a month now. Time will tell but nasty people always pop back up.

Stan is none of that. True, he is sarcastic and so am I. I am only sarcastic with those I know as I see he is. You should hear the conversations aboard the ship between a bunch of us between 60-80 who have been around years. Typical ribbing back and forth that all take in good nature among friends all who have been in the military. Yet when everyone needs to pitch in we all do it. This is how I see Stan. He would fit right in with a bunch of us sitting on the flight deck or down in the machine shop, of the Hornet, throwing BS at each other. Thrown in a few beers and life couldn't be better. Nothing taken personal. Only difference is I keep opinions to myself out of practice after 35 years in an exam room. Maybe when I retire in 18 years I can also become a crusty old salt.

 

[67Monaco]

You all take this forum wayyyyyyyyyyyy too serious. way way way too serious.

 

[Rwc]

Wait! Now the people from the northeast are the problem? Now we can be offended, boo hoo

 

[tbm3fan]

Between New York and Boston or, for some, Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park.

Maine? Isn't that similar to Canada?

 

[Rwc]

We had a pretty good war with Canada once over territory. And after that a lot of massholes moved up here, and it's been down hill ever since.

 

[furyus 67]

Fratzog,locumob,tbm3fan.......you guys nailed it! It took me a minute to underStan Stan. I'm also told I'm harsh,sarcastic and an a**hole( although not usually on a forum). Most of these things before people actually know me. I'm now accustomed to being "misunderstood" and wouldn't change a thing! It keeps the easily offended and overly sensitive types at bay. As an Irish flint native that was raised by shop rats,Marines and bikers I am not very offend able and most of my friends and family are the same. Once it finally clicked ,I started to look at Stans posts in a different light and was able to see the humor and appreciate the honesty. These types of people are getting rare. I've never been one to blow smoke up anybodys rear end. And if I don't like someone I don't pretend to. To me honesty in all aspects of life is the greatest form respect. Some can handle......most can't. I certainly hope the cranky ole b returns soon. He brought a lot to the table in the realm of experience and that northeast humor!

 

[1978 NYB]

Stan is a close friend of mine.

I'm sad that he stepped out....

I know he'll be back!

 

[68Nwprt]

I've been a step dad for fifteen years. Three step children, one with a learning disability, the youngest now Twenty two, and now four grand children, youngest six months. Some of the things I've learned along the way are... you don't always have to be right. You don't always have to say what's on your mind, people will disagree with you weather you are right or wrong, and it makes you feel a whole lot better being nice to someone, than it does being critical of people. It's not about being popular or smart or being the best or the brightest or even about you. It's about how you treat people, and how you would like to be treated and be remembered when you're gone. Be polite, honest,generous, humble,and respectful, and set a good example when you can. At the end of the day you'll need to answer to yourself, and you will be the toughest judge. Hope things work out for Stan and hope to see him back. Quite often, in order to grow, one will need to take a step back and look at the world from a new perspective.

 

[detmatt]

Between New York and Boston or, for some, Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park.

Maine? Isn't that similar to Canada, Eh?

I fixed it for you.

Additionally, this is precisely why I steer clear of threads like this. Thanks to the thin skinned morons for chasing out one of the things that made this place great, I don't blame him for leaving and now I see why other greats have been scarce as of late.

 

[65sporty]

I sometimes agree or disagree with what is said on the forum but I can respect everyone's right to speak their mind. I have defended this country and our constitutional rights with my military service. I find that I don't agree with some peoples belief's but that's as much their right as it's mine. I tend to take things with a grain of salt. Opinion's are like as...... everyone's got one. When I first posted here I was like what's commando's problem but the more I read his posts I started to understand his personality and where he is coming from and have grown very fond of him and look forward to his comments on things. I also understand you can't please everyone all the time nor do I try. If he is gone I for one like others will miss him. That's it for my rant, just my .02 and it's my right to say so just like everyone else here wither you like it or not and I earned it but that was my choice. Rant over.