mdh157
Senior Member
Hey guys,
I have gotten numerous inquiries as to where I've been, wondering what is going on, etc. so I thought I would post and let you all know why i have been absent for most of this year.
Back in Nov 2014 I started getting some physical symptoms that concerned me so I googled them. Biggest mistake of my life. I was getting muscle twitching (and still am getting it today) and pain my my arms/hands and some sensory symptoms. Googling made me start to think that I was developing ALS (Lou Gehrig's), and at that point I went from 0-100 on the anxiety scale with worry. All I had read was grim, I wouldn't see my kids grow up, etc. My mind ran with it and I lost most of my drive/ambition with respect to everything, including cars. Madeline has only been out I think 3 times this year. Anyway, after several doc appts and basic testing he still shrugs his shoulders, cannot find anything and thinks it is anxiety-related. While that is a good thing it still has not given me the ability to disspell these negative thoughts; for instance, it has been a year now and the symptoms have not seemed to have gotten any worse and the pain/other sensory stuff normally points away from more serious conditions. Again, that is good but in my mind it doesn't seem to carry any weight, I am still worried about 2/3 of what I was back when all this started. To put my mindset into perspective, I have 3 immediate family members who have been on something for anxiety at one point or another and 2 of them have told me that they have occasional twitching here and there (but they don't worry about it). This, along with the fact that it has been over a year with no loss of strength or functionality (that I know of) makes it extremely unlikely that I have a serious disease and more likely it is anxiety-related and maybe I am just manifesting it differently than other family members do. Still working on it but it's practically a day to day battle.
Well, that's about it for now. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT EVER GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS. You can have a sore finger and it'll make you think it's cancer or it's going to fall off, etc. I learned a very hard lesson there.
Thank you to those who have inquired, it is always nice to know people care. I still think this is the best car community on the net, we talk not only abt cars but often share personal stuff as well. Most forums you would never see that.
Oh, and one more thing......I learned of some stuff in my family history that puts even more perspective on this, and let me put it this way: If you do not deal with your pain, you are bound to pass it on.
Take care.
I have gotten numerous inquiries as to where I've been, wondering what is going on, etc. so I thought I would post and let you all know why i have been absent for most of this year.
Back in Nov 2014 I started getting some physical symptoms that concerned me so I googled them. Biggest mistake of my life. I was getting muscle twitching (and still am getting it today) and pain my my arms/hands and some sensory symptoms. Googling made me start to think that I was developing ALS (Lou Gehrig's), and at that point I went from 0-100 on the anxiety scale with worry. All I had read was grim, I wouldn't see my kids grow up, etc. My mind ran with it and I lost most of my drive/ambition with respect to everything, including cars. Madeline has only been out I think 3 times this year. Anyway, after several doc appts and basic testing he still shrugs his shoulders, cannot find anything and thinks it is anxiety-related. While that is a good thing it still has not given me the ability to disspell these negative thoughts; for instance, it has been a year now and the symptoms have not seemed to have gotten any worse and the pain/other sensory stuff normally points away from more serious conditions. Again, that is good but in my mind it doesn't seem to carry any weight, I am still worried about 2/3 of what I was back when all this started. To put my mindset into perspective, I have 3 immediate family members who have been on something for anxiety at one point or another and 2 of them have told me that they have occasional twitching here and there (but they don't worry about it). This, along with the fact that it has been over a year with no loss of strength or functionality (that I know of) makes it extremely unlikely that I have a serious disease and more likely it is anxiety-related and maybe I am just manifesting it differently than other family members do. Still working on it but it's practically a day to day battle.
Well, that's about it for now. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT EVER GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS. You can have a sore finger and it'll make you think it's cancer or it's going to fall off, etc. I learned a very hard lesson there.
Thank you to those who have inquired, it is always nice to know people care. I still think this is the best car community on the net, we talk not only abt cars but often share personal stuff as well. Most forums you would never see that.
Oh, and one more thing......I learned of some stuff in my family history that puts even more perspective on this, and let me put it this way: If you do not deal with your pain, you are bound to pass it on.
Take care.
